I'm one day into my last full week of radiation. Next week, I should only go in a couple days. I'm excited to be done. My treatment's going to change a little pretty soon,  but the doctor said I'll probably be feeling better because they are shrinking the size of the field. This means fewer organs will be affected, and hopefully means I won't be feeling so icky after each procedure. Woot.

My weekend was good. Exhausting, but good. Not exactly thrilled to be home but I'll be okay. It's just nice to escape from my real life for awhile.

Sometimes, I work way too hard on things that don't require all of it. A lot of the time, I end up looking kind of dumb for it. Or I just get ignored. I should be used to it by now. If I would just half-ass everything, I think I would be a lot happier. Me actually trying doesn't feel like it's getting me anywhere anymore.

I think I do everything too much. I care too much. I try too much. I think too much. I do too much... I should just stop.

Have a good Monday!

I can't wait until I have my OWN life again and can do normal things. I'm sick of living my life for doctors and scans and treatment. I'm so over it.

I just want to be done with this . I'm too tired to deal with all the crap being thrown at me...

When's it MY TURN to be happy? Sheesh.

I just don't know...

I just don't know anymore.

I feel so shitty and unloved and lonely and sick and hated and stupid and tired and worthless.

With the combination of everything going on right now, I have never felt so... sad.

I never pictured my life like this. Ever.

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Why does life have to be so hard?