Monday, 09 November 2009

  • Grawr

    I'm one day into my last full week of radiation. Next week, I should only go in a couple days. I'm excited to be done. My treatment's going to change a little pretty soon,  but the doctor said I'll probably be feeling better because they are shrinking the size of the field. This means fewer organs will be affected, and hopefully means I won't be feeling so icky after each procedure. Woot.

    My weekend was good. Exhausting, but good. Not exactly thrilled to be home but I'll be okay. It's just nice to escape from my real life for awhile.

    Sometimes, I work way too hard on things that don't require all of it. A lot of the time, I end up looking kind of dumb for it. Or I just get ignored. I should be used to it by now. If I would just half-ass everything, I think I would be a lot happier. Me actually trying doesn't feel like it's getting me anywhere anymore.

    I think I do everything too much. I care too much. I try too much. I think too much. I do too much... I should just stop.

    Have a good Monday!

Tuesday, 03 November 2009

  • 11?

    Nothing interesting going on here. The past few days have been pretty awful. I won't go into it, though.

    I can't wait for radiation to be over. I think that'll help me a lot. I'm so stressed out right now.

    I'm still not totally sure on my last day. I'll try to remember to ask tomorrow. But I think I only have 11 days left.

    Almost there!

    I don't really have too much to talk about right now... Maybe in a few days.

    Bye.

Monday, 02 November 2009

  • Feeling Kind of Selfish Today...

    I can't wait until I have my OWN life again and can do normal things. I'm sick of living my life for doctors and scans and treatment. I'm so over it.

    I just want to be done with this . I'm too tired to deal with all the crap being thrown at me...

    When's it MY TURN to be happy? Sheesh.

Sunday, 01 November 2009

  • Out

    Tomorrow's gonna be a better day.

    It has to be.

    Good night everyone.

  • I just don't know...

    I just don't know anymore.

    I feel so shitty and unloved and lonely and sick and hated and stupid and tired and worthless.

    With the combination of everything going on right now, I have never felt so... sad.

    I never pictured my life like this. Ever.

    ---

    Why does life have to be so hard?

Saturday, 31 October 2009

  • Visit corkyflower's Xanga Site
    • Name: Courtney
    • Country: United States
    • State: Illinois
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 7/8/2002
    • True

About Me

  • Hi, I'm Courtney. Twenty years old. Going through a bit of a rough patch at the moment, waiting to get back to something that resembles a normal life. I take it a day at a time, and try not to lose my mind in doing so. So far, so good... I think?

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